Things That Are Great About Julian Hartley: an Exhaustively Researched Exposition by Isabelle Tayler
Julian Hartley has hair that cannot be tamed. Like the mane of a lion or the chest hair of that weird sweaty cab driver you had the other night.
Julian Hartley’s deep brown eyes sparkle like Vanilla Coke in the afternoon sun.
Julian Hartley can make any boardgame an entertaining and often toddler endangering experience (including The Game of Life! Wow!).
Julian Hartley pulls off business casual shirts with shorts and deck shoes… What a catch!
Julian Hartley caused small riots in his suburb upon announcing he was moving away. Houses are still smoldering in some cul-de-sacs.
Julian Hartley won a Nobel Prize for scientifically proving that laughter was in fact the best medicine (albeit only for 30-45 year olds with polio) with his “Jerry Springer visits his local baker” sketch.
Julian Hartley knows what the H in Jesus H Christ stands for.
Julian Hartley runs a blog called hartoro.tumblr.com. You should follow him.
Trust me. I followed him, and look where I am today! Scrubbing 24 karat gold flakes of dry skin off his back to give to needy families overseas.
Just think about it.
Yours fondly,
Isabelle ‘I Hart Hartley’ Tayler.
